I have avoided this blog post because I just don't even know where to begin, or which direction to take. Do I make it funny? serious? scary? tear-jerker?...ultimately I decided on love because that it was I feel most often. I love Walter, I love Neal, and I love our little family.
As I do with all overwhelming feelings I cried...a lot. Just gazing at this beautiful, little, teeny, miniature version of my husband could bring me to tears. It still can, not quite as easily since most of those hormones have left my body...FINALLY. I think I cried every day, multiple times a day for the first couple weeks after coming home from the hospital. I got the "baby blues" talk, but I never really felt down, it was just an overwhelming sense of love and responsibility. Certainly the exhaustion can wear you thin, but still the feeling I found to be most overwhelming was love. I am fascinated by this love daily and often out of the blue, turn to Neal and ask, "can you believe this? look at him." He is everything I never imagined and is somehow exactly what belongs in our family. Of all the feature concoctions I came up with in my head, I could have never created him...I was SURE he was going to have dark hair! I joke that it is upsetting that you carry a baby for 9 months and how disappointing it is to have them arrive looking just like the Dad, but secretly I love that he looks just like his Dad. Probably because I love his Dad so much, but little do people know he is not exactly like Neal...he has my toes!
Personality wise a lot still remains to be discovered, but I can tell you a few things about him. Walter is a pretty serious fellow, who knows what he wants, and is not afraid to let you know about it. Don't ever let your guard down, his feelings changes quickly and with little to zero warning, most often zero warning. This was rather distressing the first couple weeks home, especially for the late night feedings. There was no warning, no whimpers, no stirring, no suggestion that he would be waking, just dead silence to screaming! And when I say screaming, well he takes after his mother in volume and not his father.
